|Meet Col. Scott Columines, the protagonist of|
Nick Trevano's thrilling sci-fi hit, Advenae.
Colonel Scott ColuminesI'm pleased to have another exciting guest on my website today! Colonel Columines took some time out of his busy schedule to let me interview him via his company's long-range comms. He works with some very high-tech equipment, being in the military and all, and I knew the technology I had (Skype, ha!) wasn't exactly meant for outer terrestrial communication. Anyway, when we finished our chat he kindly forwarded me the transcript of our interview to share with you. Enjoy.
Kristina: I don't understand how you managed to set this up, but thank you so much for agreeing to let me interview you! My questions, you'll find, are a little out of the ordinary, which probably suits you just fine. Please introduce yourself!
Columines: My name is Colonel Scott Columines. I am currently with the Earth expedition to maintain the outer terrestrial outpost of Coalire. I’ve been with the military for about 16 years and I’ve seen a lot of action during that time. I don’t have a wife or girlfriend and honestly with the way things are going at the outpost, I don’t see any of that happening anytime soon.
Kristina: If I'm the first female you've spoken to like this in a while, then can I say I'm flattered? (laughs) I mean, my interview questions are kind of personal...(unintelligible) Uh, right. Anyway.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Being unable to help. Unable to do anything. Like you’re just stuck somewhere while the world falls apart around you and there isn’t a thing you can do to even try to stop it.
Where would you like to live?
Oh wow. I haven’t thought about that in a long time. I think if I ever had the chance to have a place of my own that wasn’t on a military base, I’d do with somewhere maybe out west. Wyoming maybe. My friend, Lieutenant Colonel Kevin Beck, he owns a ranch in Nebraska and we always go out riding when I visit. It’s just really nice to be out in the middle of nowhere with nothing to worry about. I think I’d like to have a chunk of land out somewhere with just myself and nothing else around me.
What is your idea of earthly happiness?
Having food in your belly, a roof over your head, and being alive and safe.
The quality you most admire in a man?
Anytime he’s unwilling to give up. And that goes beyond just soldiers. Whether he’s defending his home or just willing to go the extra mile in life, that’s what can make the difference in how something turns out.
The quality you most admire in a woman?
Honesty. Don’t tell me one thing when you mean another. I like straight answers and I’m never going to figure something out if you’re going to be cryptic about it. If there’s a problem, tell me. Whether it’s good or bad, just let me know. You’re not going to hurt my feelings - trust me. I’ve been shot at.
Your favorite virtue?
It’s kind of a toss-up between honesty and loyalty.
Your favorite occupation?
Mine. (laughs) Really though, I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t like it. Even on the bad days, I mean...that’s just a part of it. But if I had to choose a different occupation: chef. Just the way they’re able to pick out different foods and spices and know how to put them together just right - that impresses me. That and I love food.
Your most marked characteristic?
That I don’t stop. I guess that’s what people would probably say about me. I don’t know how to stop. Just always have to get the job done. No matter what it is that I’m doing.
What do you most value in your friends?
They’re always there when I need them. I must have done something right in my life because never once have I had a friend flake out on me.
What is your principle defect?
Not knowing when to stop? (laughs) Probably that I don’t want to lose the connection I have to my men. That’s why I’ve skipped promotions in the past. I didn’t know how it would effect my connection to them and once that’s gone... I mean what’s the point in commanding them if I don’t even know their names? Then I’m just some smug bastard in the back room telling them to go out and die while I sip coffee and read the newspaper.
What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?
If the Alliance of Order fell apart. Christ, that would be a mess.
What would you like to be?
What I am now.
Who are your heroes in real life?
Lieutenant Colonel Sharp Jackson. I always wondered who the hell would name their kid Sharp, but he’s one of the men who helped keep the world from falling apart before the Alliance of Order got put together. You’d have to pick up one of his biographies to get the full story, but it’s a damn good story. Ever since hearing that, I knew what I wanted to do.
Who are your favorite heroines?
Holy shit - my mom. I’m pretty sure she must have had a cape somewhere hanging in her closet for all the stuff she did for me. She was always going down to the principal’s office because I was getting into fights with older boys when they were picking on someone smaller than them. I got my ass kicked a lot, but because I was the one starting it, I’d get in trouble. But she knew. She always had everything ready to go when it needed to be. Always made sure I was in the right place at the right time. That woman could run a field hospital with her eyes closed and just her pinky finger.
What is it you most dislike?
People who fuck over other people. And I don’t mean by accident. I mean real, intentional shit that will fuck someone’s life or get them killed.
What natural gift would you most like to possess?
If I could paint that would be pretty fantastic. I feel like that would be a great way to relieve stress. Just...making something good. Unfortunately I can’t draw or paint for shit.
How would you like to die?
A lot of people think dying on the battlefield is glorious and all that. It’s not. It’s messy and terrible. I want to die of old age. In my house. Just one day I’m there and the next I’m not.
What is your present state of mind?
I’m in a good place. I guess that’s kind of surprising given everything that’s happened. But I mean, if I dwell on it what good does that do me? I’m just going to end up wallowing in self-pity and depression and that’s just not how I operate.
What is your motto?
Don’t back down. Although these days I might have to add in: Don’t go in blind.
|Cederblad 51 (cc) by J Schulmann555 via|
About Advenae: Stepping onto a planet four worlds away from Earth is routine for Colonel Scott Columines. Outerterrestrials who call themselves the Kajla have graciously built an outpost for the arriving humans—yet when the Earth expedition arrives, their hosts are nowhere to be found.
With no clues to follow, the Earth group continues on with their original intent; exploration. Unfortunately, the universe is not a place that can quietly be explored. The Taregot invade and destroy any planet within their reach, seeking to eliminate all organisms they deem inferior—and Columines’s team makes the mistake of bumping into them.
Humanity just went to the top of their list.
About Nick Trevano: Nick Trevano goes hiking and camping whenever possible, owns a wild dachshund with a brain the size of walnut (without the shell), and thrives on insanity and general mayhem.